Our dear David was released from his body yesterday afternoon. My heart is filled with the expected fullness of loss, relief, overwhelm, exhaustion, pain, sadness... But you should know there have been so many layers to his release from the body, the fates were favorable to us in some ways by giving us time for him to peel the layers of consciousness and give David time to travel thru the myriad of vasanas, the unfinished purification of his being. He got to experience the range of human experiences at lightning speed these last months... need, fear, anxiety, frustration, the illusion of certainty, youth, age, innocence, impatience, disappointment. He sat in the fire, and shared a light from it, vast enough to reach all directions and touch each of our lives
Today, Im writing with the aid of some support for this update. It is clear from replies to my last email, that people enjoy hearing from other voices with mine, as in when Becky Joyce shared and before that Lexi Delgado and Linda Weber, when updating was harder for me to get to. Here, Dani Antman took the time to write an account for all of you following her visit of service with us the last week before David passed. She shares from such a tender place, understanding many of the complexities of David's dance. Her email to you is included below, as is a note from Julie Pigott, the soulful singer songwriter who recorded Heart of Longing with David and more recently Ocean of Mercy in honor of David as teacher and self as teacher.
Also, last night, Pamela Kluth was able to wade thru the fog of our very emotional evening to create the following description of David's passing relating to it's correspondence to the solar eclipse. She and Cara Cruickshank made the long pilgrimage by car from the Seattle area to Durango to help out and offer respite for me in caretaking responsibilities. Their journey was quite blessed, very led and purifiying even before they got here. The timing of them being here while David would be passing is something they both say they will be processing for some time to come, potent. I had three sweet, difficult hours blessing and cleansing David's body alone in the doctor's office exam room where he left his body, talking, praying, singing, caring, saying goodbye. Then Pamela, Cara, Kyle, Devin and I had several hours at the Durango mortuary where we continued the annointings, chanting, and honoring I feel fortunate was spacious and so respected by the staff.
Another included email is a letter I wrote this morning to the oncologist David first started working with in Boulder in April. It offers a perspective from a details point of view thru the wider lense. It may be helpful as you piece together your experience hearing the news, and the loss to us all right now
Another is from Cynthia Yoder notifying the Princeton community. Its lovely and it includes the last email David sent out, just yesterday.. with some intonations of the surrender and expanded artistry happening for him
In terms of a memorial, David asked for a party in his honor, in the indigenous tradition of coming together forty days after the release. He understood this time frame to be important in many traditions. In both the New and Old Testament, it was a recorded spiritual practice to fast and pray for 40 days. According to the native Indonesian and Muslim beliefs, the soul of a dead person stays on the earth for 40 days after the death. And according to halakha (Jewish law) abortion is prohibited once 40 days have passed since conception.
David's 40 day gathering will be held August 30th. Save the weekend of August 28 - 30th if possible... landing Friday, spending two nights, departing Sunday. It was his wish for us to come together in Yosemite and he requested at least ten minutes of meditation during the service with a circle for personal sharing from anyone who is called. No details have been set for this, at this point what we have is a date and a place. The rest will be announced as details come into focus. This is open to people who are called to be present. In other words, feel free to forward these dates to others who knew David.
His body will be cremated in 24-36 hours from now, ( I write this 11:40 pm MST). It was also his wish to have his ashes brought to Alaska and added to the lifescape at Wolf Track Bay. More as that comes into focus too.
Finally, please see the blogspot site below and upload your dreams if David comes to you, synchronicities and oddities, experiences of letting David go and appreciating his contributions. This is specifically for the things you think of replying to my update emails... I love them, remember I read everything and delight... only problem is no one else gets to read them but me, and there are so many crossovers, "coincidences" and treasures, too many for one girl to keep to her self...
I will offer more personal reflection when the time is right and promise some pictures of David soon.
Know that I feel the distinct presence of David now separate from the distinct being that was his body. They are separate presences now, shown to me so clearly last night as I sat at his side. His body is a shell, a beautiful shell...
I hope you'll read on...
Lovingly, Ananda
Eclipse in David's Honor By Pamela Kluth July 22, 2009
David LaChapelle was released from his material vessel at 1:39 pm Tuesday, July 20th 2009. He followed his mother’s passing in the same hospital of her release by 2 years and 6 months, both on the 21st.
It was also the first day that both his Earth doctors and Spirit doctors worked together for his care. This included the John of God Center in Brazil who did a remote spiritual Surgery along with 3 planned visits with physicians. His quick passing was with Ananda at his side and overseen by a favorite doctor of David’s of which he had a special heart connection.
David’s passing was synchronistic with the longest solar eclipse of the 21st century. This is an annular eclipse;. An astrological interpretation of the symbolism of this is that neither the spiritual/masculine/active/yang energy of the Sun nor the soul/feminine/receptive/yin energy of the Moon dominates. Rather, the shadow of the lunar energy - the Soul, even at its darkest moment, could be described as encircled and protected by Spirit. The joining of these two forces provides focus and promises a rebirth of spirit after a dark night of the soul.
The heightened impact of eclipse energy can be felt by everyone as much as 3 months in advance and has subtle reverberations for as long as 3 years afterwards. Although the energies are most prominent for a week on either side of the eclipse (many feel a heightened sense of anxiety during this period), the influence on events continues. Eclipse periods are extremely active, often associated with meaningful events and public exposure-
*Astrology descriptions were found: http://zodiacarts.com/whatsup/SolarEclipse.shtml
Pamela Kluth
Seattle Area sangha
It was also the first day that both his Earth doctors and Spirit doctors worked together for his care. This included the John of God Center in Brazil who did a remote spiritual Surgery along with 3 planned visits with physicians. His quick passing was with Ananda at his side and overseen by a favorite doctor of David’s of which he had a special heart connection.
David’s passing was synchronistic with the longest solar eclipse of the 21st century. This is an annular eclipse;. An astrological interpretation of the symbolism of this is that neither the spiritual/masculine/active/yang energy of the Sun nor the soul/feminine/receptive/yin energy of the Moon dominates. Rather, the shadow of the lunar energy - the Soul, even at its darkest moment, could be described as encircled and protected by Spirit. The joining of these two forces provides focus and promises a rebirth of spirit after a dark night of the soul.
The heightened impact of eclipse energy can be felt by everyone as much as 3 months in advance and has subtle reverberations for as long as 3 years afterwards. Although the energies are most prominent for a week on either side of the eclipse (many feel a heightened sense of anxiety during this period), the influence on events continues. Eclipse periods are extremely active, often associated with meaningful events and public exposure-
*Astrology descriptions were found: http://zodiacarts.com/whatsup/SolarEclipse.shtml
Pamela Kluth
Seattle Area sangha
June 22, 2009
Last night, Ananda asked me to sing to David, to help ease his passing over; to help ease my attachment and letting go of David. I lit candles on my altar and sang as best I could amongst the sobs.
Here is a chant I wrote for David when Ben & I visited him in Boulder 2 months ago. I wrote it to help ease his pain, to support living and dying and finding peace. I wrote it and sang it to him after a particularly heavy handed teaching from David, on the nature of "helping"! After this teaching and my humble soul searching, he opened up and allowed me to sing this to him. This song helped rock him to sleep in the midst of unbearable pain several times, while angels were massaging his feet and helping to release his pain. I sensed then that this was my goodbye, though he spoke to me of future songs we would record together.
Oh Holy Mother, Mother Divine
Heal these tired wings, fill them with Your light
Your golden light, golden light, wrapped in golden light
Golden light, golden light, wrapped in golden light
Love,
Julie Pigott
Seattle Area sangha
Here is a chant I wrote for David when Ben & I visited him in Boulder 2 months ago. I wrote it to help ease his pain, to support living and dying and finding peace. I wrote it and sang it to him after a particularly heavy handed teaching from David, on the nature of "helping"! After this teaching and my humble soul searching, he opened up and allowed me to sing this to him. This song helped rock him to sleep in the midst of unbearable pain several times, while angels were massaging his feet and helping to release his pain. I sensed then that this was my goodbye, though he spoke to me of future songs we would record together.
Oh Holy Mother, Mother Divine
Heal these tired wings, fill them with Your light
Your golden light, golden light, wrapped in golden light
Golden light, golden light, wrapped in golden light
Love,
Julie Pigott
Seattle Area sangha
By Dani July 21, 2009
I am awake after a deep deep sleep. I still don't feel David "awake" on the other side. I feel him gently in my heart and in the ethers. I think that there's a period of restoration on the other side, a kind of etheric hospital, and once his energy body is restored there will be more visceral contact.
I decided to visit Durango, based on a very strong intuition that he would leave. I was terrified that he would die when Ananda was not home, and am simply grateful that he waited till she was with him....so that closure would be complete. I so wanted to help him surrender, but in his presence his will to live was still so strong, that I simply said "You know you could stop fighting if you want to" ......he barely acknowledged my saying that, and I let it be. I kept calling on the great mother and there would be flashes of gold light and joy and I knew he would be welcomed out of the body soon. It was a gift to massage his feet for 4 days and watch him draw. I still feel his warm feet under my hands, which is strange. Body here, body not here....in such a short time. Becky what a gift for you to know Dolores and David so intimately.
I have never seen such suffering in a body....and am happy he is in some better place now. My grief comes up selfishly, for I am realizing there is no hope to ever have a David group again or a David conversation.......I will miss that so much.....
I am hoping we will all have a chance to gather and honor him. Ananda I would like to help with that process, and possibly coordinate it for you (Interfaith minister that I am).
love and blessings to you as you all mourn in your own ways,
Dani
Dear Dr Sitarik,
This is Ananda Foley writing from David's phone where I found your address. Wanted to let you know he passed away yesterday.
I had him home from a three-week hospital stay these last 6 days, where we'd started homecare still looking toward possible radiation. He responded so well to the Abraxane and Erbitux, the tumor was almost completely gone. It was remarkable how quickly and how well it worked. He was reluctant to do radiation, though his oncologist Dr Susan Smith encouraged it, mostly so that his "last months" would not be experienced in the most anxiety-producing way there is to die, asphixiation.
His three-week hospital stay had been initiated with extremely high fevers due to staph infection of his blood. He responded to antibiotics well and cultures were again negative but had consequentially formed infection pockets on the mitral valve and visual cortex among other unknown places. We were giving him mega antibiotics at home and he would be on a long run of them as it was, had (you guessed it) pnemonia not taken hold in the hospital, adding to the list. These factors put radiation plans on hold but not off the table.
He continued to suffer greatly with phlem, coughing, pain in the throat, pain from the GTube, anxiety and fear of dying for such a long time but had agreed this last week to small amounts of oxygodone which helped his body rest some. For this reason I am of course greatly relieved
Yesterday I took him back to the medical plaza where he met with Dr Salka, an infection specialist brought on to his care during the hospital stay. He was also to have a visit the same day with the oncologist as well as a Physician Assistant well experienced in pain management and hospice. David loved Dr Salka's manner & kindness and would often comment on the quality of his heart, so it makes sense now, that he would "choose" to die during his visit, on an exam table ... "safe", within a medical container but with me and an authority with heart he respected
I know your care was important to him and I thank you for playing an important role in this journey. Coming to Boulder and turning towards oncology, though "late" late by all medical standards, was just the timing his process called for. You were gracious and respectful of his process with him. For that I thank you.
In heart, Ananda
This is Ananda Foley writing from David's phone where I found your address. Wanted to let you know he passed away yesterday.
I had him home from a three-week hospital stay these last 6 days, where we'd started homecare still looking toward possible radiation. He responded so well to the Abraxane and Erbitux, the tumor was almost completely gone. It was remarkable how quickly and how well it worked. He was reluctant to do radiation, though his oncologist Dr Susan Smith encouraged it, mostly so that his "last months" would not be experienced in the most anxiety-producing way there is to die, asphixiation.
His three-week hospital stay had been initiated with extremely high fevers due to staph infection of his blood. He responded to antibiotics well and cultures were again negative but had consequentially formed infection pockets on the mitral valve and visual cortex among other unknown places. We were giving him mega antibiotics at home and he would be on a long run of them as it was, had (you guessed it) pnemonia not taken hold in the hospital, adding to the list. These factors put radiation plans on hold but not off the table.
He continued to suffer greatly with phlem, coughing, pain in the throat, pain from the GTube, anxiety and fear of dying for such a long time but had agreed this last week to small amounts of oxygodone which helped his body rest some. For this reason I am of course greatly relieved
Yesterday I took him back to the medical plaza where he met with Dr Salka, an infection specialist brought on to his care during the hospital stay. He was also to have a visit the same day with the oncologist as well as a Physician Assistant well experienced in pain management and hospice. David loved Dr Salka's manner & kindness and would often comment on the quality of his heart, so it makes sense now, that he would "choose" to die during his visit, on an exam table ... "safe", within a medical container but with me and an authority with heart he respected
I know your care was important to him and I thank you for playing an important role in this journey. Coming to Boulder and turning towards oncology, though "late" late by all medical standards, was just the timing his process called for. You were gracious and respectful of his process with him. For that I thank you.
In heart, Ananda
From Oncologist Mark Sitarik
Dear Ananda,
Thanks for letting me know what happened with David. I was just thinking about him last week, wondering how things were going. Courtney did let me know about the infections he had to deal with. I'm glad to hear that the Abraxane and Erbitux were of benefit, and that David had at least a little more time to complete his process. It was a privilege to have known him, albeit briefly. I hope he has found his peace in the next realm - whatever form that may take.
No small amount of credit goes to you. He was lucky to have found you to be with him to act as his rock and his guide. I suspect that he did the same for you, but in a different and complimentary way. I have the utmost respect for your caring nature and support for David through what must have been multiple difficult times. You acted as a true friend and partner for David. That is actually a fairly rare thing. Believe me, I've seen enough relationships under stress to know. For what it's worth, if you ever need a character reference, I would be happy to provide one.
If you do ever make it back to Boulder, please stop in to say Hi. You will be welcome anytime.
Take care,
Mark
Dear Ananda,
Thanks for letting me know what happened with David. I was just thinking about him last week, wondering how things were going. Courtney did let me know about the infections he had to deal with. I'm glad to hear that the Abraxane and Erbitux were of benefit, and that David had at least a little more time to complete his process. It was a privilege to have known him, albeit briefly. I hope he has found his peace in the next realm - whatever form that may take.
No small amount of credit goes to you. He was lucky to have found you to be with him to act as his rock and his guide. I suspect that he did the same for you, but in a different and complimentary way. I have the utmost respect for your caring nature and support for David through what must have been multiple difficult times. You acted as a true friend and partner for David. That is actually a fairly rare thing. Believe me, I've seen enough relationships under stress to know. For what it's worth, if you ever need a character reference, I would be happy to provide one.
If you do ever make it back to Boulder, please stop in to say Hi. You will be welcome anytime.
Take care,
Mark
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