Sharing from the heart

Nov. 20, 2009

lots of requests to know "how I am"... thanks for asking I know Im behind

I am frazzled and reworked,

new and sincerely puzzled

loved and loving

... emotional


INSPIRED


dancing with courage and fear

listening

Wintering (mostly) in Silverton

Missing Amma tour

Sad I cant keep up with everyone

Newly exploring FaceBook

Tired

New snow sparkles in my eyes, new flush on my face

teaching yoga and learning bellydance

theraputic sessions with skilled friends (thank goodness)

feeling art & movement workshops in my future... after some settle

Have way too much stuff (mine and D's from Ashland and Hawaii, his PARENT'S things)

Paperwork, email & phone are the time-consuming toppers... still much to do

Recently created a retreat plan for a local group, some new and old facilitation skills integrating


every day is a bow

and yet...

when will things feel normal?

when will I find a balance between extremes: like feeling tired of answering the question " how are you" but hurt just the same if no one asks...

ready for things to move on without him one minute, then just as pained when I'm out on errand and the pulse steadys on at the grocery or post office as if the world is the same


I know i need more quiet yet there is much stimulation

...more nature, less laptop

I get out on brilliantly sunny white walks in the hills... the contrast of hot sun and cold ground

Taking many pictures and building a portfolio for later times.... its the most fun treat right now


Im in a sweet something with a new/old "friend"

... it's supportive I think, Im enriched in new ways
and also aware of the raw element ... careful yes....

Important part is Tara expressing through me

And creative partnership with eye for photo images


loving David and letting him go

sharing his creative voice with emerging book


he's been giving me space but staying close if that makes sense

New language we now speak

Ibn expresses David often too


Tell me your unrelated segments of streaming thoughts some time ...


With love in my heart, Ananda






Yosemite Memorial, August 2009 "Relinquishing ceremony" offered by elders.In this photo: Onnolee Stevens with initiating dragonfly necklace from Barbara Cecil. Photos by Cara Cruickshank (thank you so much!)

Evening scenes

July 21, 2009

Familiar scenes for the beings who tended closely. Durango apartment, photos Im grateful I thought to take the evening of his release-from-the-body ...

old summer shots from now winter snowy Silverton

Summer of 07
the building of the "medicine fence"
new nursing human embodiment
creativities emerging
friendships forming
lives and materials changing form


s e v a = selfless service

A hard photo...

prepare...



Difficult time, march 2008, 15
ashland oregon

David in pain beyond our comprehension
a kind heart transformation

helping others by taking on some pain and burning rapidly

not rapidly enough / a toll on the body

found in every tradition

this service to humanity

D came with his issues

like the rest of us

but

for this loved creature

the ancestors, guides, spirit helpers and light streams

were in his dear favor

as was Ghigs Razi with her class in the February cold
with love songs on Valentines Day
... angels...

Loving Shakti Eyes

a.foley photography, N.Kohala HI 2006

David's Brain

I have the privilege of searching around in David's brain when I need to... the mac he bonded with last winter... where he gathered so many fantastic images, holy ones, his own photography, research files and scanned documents... what an adventure. If Im brave enough to face the cluttered desktop (cuz still not able to change anything of his inner world) there is a wealth of treasure to behold. He would want you to have a peek time to time, so from now on will blog from his laptop in addition, as the mood strikes. Enjoy this pairing...



These two image files were listed next to each other on his disk, ... interestingly though; by number. In other words not intentionally paired by him. Sweet.

More to come...

Random Sample

Art for Livelihood... building a portfolio

Art for Livelihood... building a portfolio

copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009

copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009


copyright a.foley 2009

Good News Story

Sweet, grateful tears as I write this. Waves of relief... It's awfully personal, but I wanted to share good news and celebration ... in honor of the balance... for all the hard work we have each put in for David, his life and his pain (or if you've been thru the gamut, in terms of health care and medical coverage. This issue is so up for everyone at the moment.)

I just got a call . The oncologists who treated David in Durango have been wondering how they were going to get paid for all the office visits, chemo treatments and hospital rounds. Insurance company's arms were crossed these last few months... "we're sorry, we dont cover that" ... They said the approach was experimental and research based.

I pasted below some of my response letter
... gripping with injustice and raw with loss but somehow pulled this through... and...


... IT WORKED!

The call I just hung up was to tell me the insurance company will be covering everything... everything except one office visit !

For all the letters and calls over the last few months to banks, credit cards, utilities, Dr offices and insurance companies, I CANT TELL you the relief that SOMETHING came back with affirmation. And knowing the team of docs and staff will be properly covered! Uah!

Huge!

Thanks for listening,
with love, Ananda


Sept. 22, 2009

Re: Request for Secondary Internal Review in response to initial Grievance Response from Golden Rule
Attached: Five photos, in chronological order, of patient's tumor over the course of four months.

Dear Golden Rule Grievance Administrator:

I have received a copy of your letter addressed to SW Oncology regarding the initial review determining benefits for services provided by them to patient David La Chapelle. The letter states no benefits are available.

The photos included consist of five images of David, profiling the squamous cell cancer tumor on his neck, spanning from March 4, 2009 to the day he passed away, July 21, 2009.

The initial review states the reason for a decline of benefits is that the treatment in question (David's chemotherapy) by Southwest Oncology would be considered "investigational, experimental or for research purposes" . The photos are relevant to your second review in that they reveal, without a doubt the successful and complete shrinking of the very large tumor. Let the photos show the very sound and relevant treatment plan carried out by the professionals of SW Oncology.

It was their long-lived body of experience, their qualified and competent skills as doctors, not to mention their up-to-date knowledge base (in a field moving at break-neck speed, that of oncology), that their plan of treatment for David was as successful as it was for entirely shrinking his large tumor. Their methods were, in my opinion (and I have lost my partner and best friend here), sound, safe and not based on experimental purposes or for the purpose of research and investigation. Rather, they were based on experience and education, not to mention the mysterious yet valid skill-set of intuition; an important ally for all doctors. As I say, in a field of information moving as fast as oncology, it is a doctor's key responsibility to go with the best plan for the condition, whether it is or is not yet widely accepted by "most doctors" as your letter indicates. And they must balance that, at every moment, with the "approved" or " accepted" mainstream, which, we all know comes with faults, such as being even slightly outdated.

The motive for treating David with Abraxane/Erbitux is that it was in the best interest of the patient, your client, David La Chapelle, as it exposes the rest of the body systems to the least amount of unnecessary toxicity. Given the mission statement repeated in each of the letters I have received from your offices, you "have made customer service of (y)our top priorities". If that is true, I am confident you want for your clients what doctors want for their patients: sound, safe treatment. Anything else would be a disservice to the customer you are so very dedicated to keeping a "high priority".

Thank you for the time you have given to reading this letter. Please consider me available for any further questions anytime.

Sincerely,
Ananda Elise Foley
Designated Representative for David La Chapelle

Hymn of Changes is coming!

Receptive mountain shots,
November Full Moon Silverton CO


a.foley copyright 2009

a.foley copyright 2009

a.foley copyright 2009


"The Receptive"
2nd of the 64 Hexagrams
from A Hymn of Changes by David La Chapelle
Revised edition coming DECEMBER 1ST !


The Receptive

The Receptive awaits the movement of Heaven.
With quietness and serenity the Earth receives
the impulses of Heaven
and substance is given to the unseen.
The Receptive mind is still, yet moves with contact.
It gives form to endless impulses without being overwhelmed.
It never tires as it is guided faithfully by trust and surrender.

To cultivate such receptivity
we must have the courage to remain still
and trust that movement will arise as it should
and when it should.

Yielding
Devotion
Faith


The Receptive

Earth above: Devotion, Receptivity Earth Below: Devotion, Receptivity

The womb of matter gives birth to The Creative. The Earth undergoes the labor pains of creation: for millions of years a mantle of matter gathers form and weaves the body of the Tao. The Earth has become a cradle of creation through unending devotion. Across the tides of time, the Earth has woven a constant response to the impulses of the spirit. This unceasing response is born of a profound devotion.

To be truly Receptive is to be remade continually by the heavens: a constant release of what has been generated. In order to undergo such a relentless process of change, firm foundations are important. Trusting implicitly in our own nature, we can surrender without reserve to the impulses of the Heavens. This trust is possible because we are, at the core, no different than the Tao. The paradox of this contact is that we are surrendering to our own being as we surrender to the power of The Creative.

The burning point of contact between The Creative and The Receptive is a dynamic moment of the potential becoming actual, spirit becoming form. Living our lives with such receptivity means being acutely alive with the power of creative action. All too often, people resist the deeply receptive places in their hearts because there is a fear of annihilation. If we are truly Receptive, then we are no longer in control; if we are no longer in control, then we fear we will be destroyed. This root fear is based on a mistrust of the Tao; for if we truly trusted, then we would unhesitatingly embrace The Creative and live our lives as expressions of the truth.

Closing deep upon itself, The Receptive forms a womb. This incubation is a spiraling inwards of intention and will. At the moment of purest intention, our will becomes the will of the Tao. There is a moment of intense receptivity just prior to the descent of inspiration. This fusion of personal will with the Tao is achieved by the discipline of our forms of expression. Artist, writer, dancer, poet, actress, and actor all cultivate the Receptive by virtue of their chosen discipline.

The Earth is heavy by virtue of its mass. An accumulation of matter builds a vortex of receptivity which is the nucleus of a planetary system. This gathering of form is necessary in order to sustain the fires of the creative process. In our own lives this accumulation of form is best done in a spirit of loving devotion. If we gather because of self-serving instinct and not because of faith, then we run the risk of materialism: cloaking ourselves with devices and material possessions to armor ourselves from the demands of The Creative.

A gathering of matter around the still point of the heart transforms our wombs into sanctuaries of love. For the love of creation we are willing to embrace our receptivity and honor the feminine…

with love,
Ananda Elise Foley
PO Box 542 Silverton Colorado 81433