Threshold

As my house buzzes with Yosemite memorial preparations and probate paperwork I find a longing to someday rest. So many lovely and loving emails and cards coming my way, and everyone has a similar longing for me... a chance to catch up with myself after caring for David. But my intense full-time nurse role has only been replaced by a full-time secretary & human relations job since he passed.

There appears on the horizon glimmers of opportunities and creative pursuits ahead, and yet I stand on the shore with my feet held down with heavy sand, full backpack weighing my shoulders down, holding me in place.

But behind me there's a picnic blanket spread out with 7o or so celebrants, loved ones, students, memorial pilgrims... all gathered and inspired to honor a dear and worthy life, all ready to lighten my load, clink a glass and pass the talking stick with me. So that, from here, and only then, am I then able to fully step down from the seat Ive occupied at David's side, circle them carefully, lovingly, slip into the warm glimmering waters and swim my way to a sparkling new home... a home filled with pockets of ideas, gadgets for publishing creative works by David and myself, colorful messy studio time and many rooms for welcoming visitors to tea.

Rest. Taken winter 08 in Ashland

David shot of me last Feb in Ashland. Helpful for my heart as I head into winter, in a small mountain snow town, this year alone.